Emulatores Is Awesmoe

And this, ladies and gents, typifies my love it/hate it relationship with the Internet: dummies who feel that they are entitled to everything for free.

Whee!

The Nintendo Revolution has a new name. I'm not going to tell you what it is, though. You've really got to see it for yourself.

Grid Wars 2

You've probably heard all the hubbub about Geometry Wars on Xbox Live. Well, if you're like me and don't have an Xbox 360 OR Xbox Live, you'll have to make due with Grid Wars 2, a pretty awesome clone for both PC and Mac that you can download here.

Megaman Megamix

OK, this totally warrants a post: big-name music acts like Metallica and R.E.M. are ripping off Megaman! Witness "Seek and Destroy" meets Flash Man and R.E.M. versus Elecman. I can't wait to hear Linkin Park cover Dr. Wily!

Thirty-Three and a Third

So, my friend Mark sent me a book about the making of Paul's Boutique, one of the best albums ever.


What I've discovered is that the book is one in a series of books about great albums: Doolittle, Let It Be, Exile on Main Street, blah blah blah. The blog for the books is here. The publisher, Continuum Books, is here. But a comprehensive list of all the titles in the series is...where? Can't find it. But you can link to Powell's and Amazon from the blog.

Anyway, what's that sound that you hear? Why, it's the sound of more money flying out of my wallet. Yay.

Movie Quickies

I have seen some really good movies lately! (Also a few stinkers.) Here are some of them.
Serenity - I did not get on Joss Whedon's Firefly bandwagon. I watched this movie with almost no exposure to the TV show. Needless to say, I was blown away! Awesome sci-fi action, great script, and the best villain I've seen in ages. It's better than all three recent Star Wars epics, which is saying both a lot and a little at the same time. Seriously, see this movie!
Lord of War - Best opening title sequence ever (follow a bullet from its birth in a factory to being shot into someone's skull) leads to a nearly unwatchable film. Nicholas Cage is so miscast it's laughable. I made it about 40 minutes in and turned it off.
Saw II - I liked Saw. Not loved, liked. Saw II was even better. A really tight script, some truly grisly moments, and a story that keeps you hooked. Pun not intended.
Howl's Moving Castle - Again, the theory of low expectations wins out. The reviews of Miyazaki's latest were lukewarm, especially when you consider that most critics gush over everything the man does (with good reason). In any event, this movie was brilliant, although not as good as Spirited Away...but what is? Some of the imagery will stick with me forever.
Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children - I'm not a Final Fantasy fan at all, but I've picked up on most of the stories through sheer force of geek osmosis. The film is gorgeous to look at, with some of the best (if not THE best) CGI action sequences ever created. I was thoroughly entertained, although I have no clue what happened. Might warrant another viewing, someday.
Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room - The first half hour of this Oscar-nominated documentary is confusing at best. But stick with it to experience a disturbing portrait of a unique brand of American greed.
The 40 Year-Old Virgin - I was prepared for the most hilarious movie I have seen in my entire life, and I am happy to report that this title is still held by Airplane! Sure, this movie is funny. But it's really long and totally in love with itself. Again, high expectations are shattered as easily as low expectations are proven wrong.
Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins - I loved this movie as a kid, and recently TiVo'd it. Man, it holds up surprisingly well. Joel Grey's borderline racist performance as a Korean martial arts master is forgiven due to its sheer awesomeness. Fred Ward is great, too. This film was supposed to launch a franchise, which never happened. Remake!!

The Opportunists

I was interested to discover Metacritic's coverage of The Opportunists, the last film I worked on before giving up on the movie business.


Seems as though some people liked it, but I didn't know that anyone had actually SEEN it.

How About That? x 2

Well, someone has made a modern-day Rescue Raiders, entitled Steam Brigade! If you have no idea what I'm talking about, check this post here. Then go download the game and let me know if it's any good, because I frankly have no time to play it!!

How About That?

Between today and yesterday, my profile recieved 23 additional views. I guess sex sells, after all.

Zombies 3, Ambulance 4,085

How about this for a totally cool concept? It's Crazy Taxi, but in an ambulance. And instead of people, your fares are zombies. Get them to the hospital on time, or they eat you!! (Forget about Kentucky Fried Chicken.) It's The Zombie Versus Ambulance, and it's brought to you by Japan, world famous developer of ninjas and tentacle rape. What a country!

For the Record

Ever since I posted those totally hot photos of pussy, cock and breasts, my profile has been viewed an additional zero times. So much for "sex sells".

Rock On

Hooray! Guitar Hero II has finally been announced and hits the stage this Novemeber. Keep your fingers crossed for some Maiden.

Not a Bad Theory

Back to more important matters, I am currently reading Raph Koster's book entitled "A Theory of Fun for Game Design". It's a great read and more accessible than most game design books, probably because it is both technical and conversational at the same time. (It also has lots of funny cartoons in it.) And while the subject matter in principle is game design, the stuff Koster talks about can really be applied to any kind of creative medium involving storytelling. Worth a look! You can also check out his blog, in which the author further ruminates on games in an entertaining fashion. You can even listen to his guitar music, if that's your bag.

Amazing Breasts

My God, I just can't stop. Here is a totally hot photo of an absolutely divine pair of breasts.

Giant Cock

For good measure, here is a totally hot photo of a GIANT cock!

(I've seen this one myself, and yes, it really is that big.)

Dripping Wet Pussy

In a shrewd attempt to drive more people to my blog, I have posted this totally hot photo of a dripping wet pussy.

Seriously, will I get more profile views? Stay tuned.

Those Zany Japanese!

Wow, and I thought that "shoot the 50-foot bikini girl with missiles" game was bad. Check out Battle Raper II, a game which features three-dimensional fighting and one-dimensional sex! You can download the trailer here, or check out a garbled version of it (along with the game's intro) on YouTube. Definitely NSFW!

(Despite the game's obvious offensive qualities, the trailer is hilarious.)

If you're not feeling brave, I found a pretty funny review of Battle Raper II on a gaming site.

God pwnz

So, in case you missed it, the people who do the "Left Behind" Christian books that you can buy in the airport (over 63 million sold!) are getting into the game biz with a post-apocalyptic action game that tells the story of the Rapture by way of Grand Theft Auto. I don't care who you are -- or what religion you subscribe to and how tenaciously you do so -- if you're at all into games or pop culture, your eyebrows just went up.

In the video game hierarchy, Bible-themed games have historically fallen somewhere just below movie-based games starring The Rock and somewhere right above Atari 2600 porno. Frankly: they suck, and I predict that this one will be no different. However, with the right marketing behind it, it will probably sell faster than Girl Scout cookies at a fat camp.

Kotaku linked to an article that sheds some light (no pun intended) on the game. It's worth a read.

Being a proponent of free creative expression, I, for one, am totally for this kind of niche gaming -- if it succeeds, it can only lead to other games of its kind. Preferably from other genres and walks of life, but who knows? Maybe the game will be fun, and then who will have the last laugh in heaven?

Check out the trailer here. And try not to laugh when God reaches out with a mighty hand and an outstretched arm...and clicks His mouse.

Digital Revolution, Part II

Here is a very insightful article about digital distribution and the future of online console gaming. The author makes a lot of very astute comments about Sony's umpcoming (and ambiguous) PS3 network, among other things, but he misses the point regarding GameTap. GameTap offers games post-retail by design, so it was never meant to compete with the retail console business. A very good read nonetheless.

Props to Gideon for the link.

Red Steel in the Hour of Chaos

I received a press release from Ubisoft announcing their exclusive shooter title for the Nintendo Revolution, Red Steel. Needless to say, I was excited! No images were included with the release, so I scoured the web for the above shot, which is a scan from Game Informer magazine or something. Anyway, it looks cool to me, buddy. Set in contemporary Japan, the game will reportedly allow players to "master both the ancient art of the katana and the sophisticated technology of modern firearms taking advantage of the emotion and immersive gameplay possible only with the Revolution’s remarkable controller." Remarkable, indeed!

Derren Brown

So, it turns out that the guy who did the Waking Dead videogame experiment is a famous "mentalist" and illusionist from the UK. He's got a new fan!

Waking Dead

This link is a must-click. Some guys in England created a videogame that induces a catatonic state in the player. Whether you believe this to be real or staged is up for debate, but what follows is truly remarkable and entertaining.

Gollum Wins!

So I guess there's a Tekken movie in pre-production, and Andy Serkis (of Gollum fame) is listed as one of the actors. Wake me up when they announce the River City Ransom TV series.

1, 2, 3, 4

If you know what's good for you, you will check out Pan For Punks, the steelpan drum tribute to the Ramones. It is as good as it sounds. No, wait...it's better.

Zeldork!

OMG, you must check out this trailer for the live-action Zelda fan film!

Totally Awesome

Okay, I'll admit it: I'm really psyched about Rampage Total Destruction. I just can't help it! Ralph, George and Lizzie are back with like a bunch of new monsters. I think there's a guy with a big shark head! Truth be told, I was always disappointed to discover that Lizzie is a girl.

HDTV: LCD or Plasma?

I am getting ready to replace my TV, which is 10+ years old. Gearing up for a nice movie viewing/game playing television is exciting, but also daunting. HDTV? Of course. LCD? Maybe. Plasma? Maybe. DLP? Um...

I've been conducting some online research, and this link made me laugh. If you have any advice, and you happen to read my blog (yeah, right) -- please post a comment.

Rated "D" for "D'oh!"

The Simpsons teaser trailer is now available for viewing in the magical world of the Internet. You can also download the entire film for free at everythingisfreeontheinternet.com.