Lord Henshingly Croft Would Be Proud

It's not too late! Cast your vote for this year's Walk of Game inductees here! And puh-leeze don't vote for EverQuest.

File Under: WTF

Seriously, there are no adjectives available to describe this.

Only in Japan

Here is a PS2 game from Japan in which you must shoot a giant bikini-clad woman in the boobies and the butt with rockets. Riiight. It's called "The Daibijin" -- which, loosely translated, means "I have some serious psycho-sexual issues that need to be addressed."

L@@K! Iron Maiden MIB! RARE!

Earlier this week, I went to a charity auction/dinner in San Francisco sponsored by the Entertainment Software Association. Called "Nite to Unite for Kids", this event is the gaming industry's biggest annual gala/fundraising effort. All the leading executives from the world's largest gaming companies attend. I saw the top dogs from Nintendo, Sony, Atari and so on. George Lucas received an award, which was presented by Hayden Christensen. As my friend Mark said, "It's nice to see the guy finally getting some recognition."

Anyway, what's really important is that there was a silent auction. Look what I won: a giant Iron Maiden action figure!


Fun note: I outbid Tim Schafer (Psychonauts, Day of the Tentacle, etc.) and took home the prize. Sorry, Tim!

Other items up for auction were a lot cooler (and more expensive) than a giant Eddie action figure. A PSP signed by Gwen Stefani, a Star Wars book signed by George Lucas and a Hello Kitty gift pack. Wow!

From the Times

Check out this piece in today's NY Times about GameTap's marketing campaign.

Blast from the Past

OMG: I haven't played Action Blast Land in years, but thanks to the magic of the web, now I can!

Download This!

Here are my photos from the big ol' GameTap-sponsored Download Festival '05 in San Francisco. Best moments of the day include:

- A teenage kid digging on Freeway
- Performance by the Lovemakers (imagine the Human League, sans shirts)
- The Gamer With No Name who came in and quietly beat Gunstar Heroes without uttering a word
- Two boys that appeared to be about ten years old in line for free condoms
- My friend Greg kicking ass at Pac-Man
- The Dome, man! The Dome!

Seriously, GameTap spent a lot of money and effort on what we have been cheerfully calling "the igloo" -- a giant Dome with numerous game stations and a huge 3D projection of the GT interface on the ceiling. Plus, tons of gameplay footage, screenshots and mind-boggling animations. Can you get into a 3D version of the Air-Sea Battle plane zooming 360-degrees around your skull? I can! The pictures I took, which are grainy and blurry, don't really do the Dome justice...but the light levels were really low inside and you could probably only get quality footage with a professional camera.

Too bad that the Doves, a band I really like, were not received with much enthusaism from the crowd. Hence, British crankiness ensued.

All in all, a successful and -- most importantly -- fun event!

Vampires Still Suck

What a disappointment! Darkwatch is a yucky game. Damn. I really, really, really wanted it to be awesome. It's not a bad game per se, but frustrating on so many levels:

- Mindless, endless enemies
- Crappy hit detection
- Boring level design
- Stupid good/evil system
- Dumb plot

The list goes on. Vampire powers are under-utilized. Weapon variety (and innovation)is lacking. The horseback levels, which are total filler, occur in these bizarre, barren environments where train tracks run back and forth between nothingness.

That said, there's a lot of great stuff about Darkwatch, most of which could be salvaged for a sequel. The character designs and atmosphere are both awesome, and the biggest selling points of the game, in my opinion. Screenshots really look great. The game is fast and smooth. The melee system rocks. Knocking a skeleton's head off with the butt of your gun delivers a satisfying crunch. But the game becomes brainless and aimless about four or five hours in. I don't mind a speedfreak shooting gallery, but it gets really frustrating when your bullets seem to be ineffective.

Anyway, I sent it back to GameFly before I even got to the much-ballyhooed sex scene. Far Cry is on its way instead, and I hope it's better!

Malevolent Anthropologist-Torturing Terror

The folks who brought you the brilliant Cyborg Name Decoder have now added a Monster Name Decoder. Check them both at namedecoder.com.

I Can Get Behind This

I never much cared for the White Stripes. I mean, I can appreciate their undeniable cool factor, but I heard White Blood Cells and thought it was just OK. Now, this is back around the time when the "garage rock revolution" was happening, and I'm a guy that likes the Mono Men and all that Estrus junk. So maybe I was just a little skeptical, all right?

(Yeah, but I bought that Strokes CD and I liked it. What can I say?)

So, like, a couple months ago I heard "Blue Orchid" on the the radio and I was like, "Damn, that sounds good." And then I bought the new Audioslave album. But I was in Full Moon Records the other day -- best Atlanta record store and you totally need to check them out -- and they had a copy of Get Behind Me Satan. Since every CD at Full Moon Records is 8 bucks, what did I have to lose?

Well, 'tis not the matter of what I was to lose, but what I was to gain.

Turns out, Get Behind Me Satan is brilliant. I was listening to it in bed the other night and I was thinking, "Is this what White Blood Cells was like? I don't think so!" White Blood Cells was scuzzy and a bit precious, as I recall. Get Behind Me Satan is that as well, but also offbeat and bizarre and sketchbooky and tight all at the same time. And it's got mojo -- you know, that thing Jim Morrison was always after.

Then I went online and read some reviews and it seems that a lot of White Stripes fans were disappointed with Get Behind Me Satan because it was weird, slow and/or just plain bad. Now, I definitely have a contrarian tendency when it comes to music, i.e., that which is deemed "brilliant" is often crapola in my book, and vice-versa. (See my copy of Spit, the Godfather of Smut.)

But waitaminnit, I played the album in the car on the way to work this morning (I didn't necessarily trust my previous nocturnal viewpoint) and it was still great listening, definitely. Blue Orchid, The Nurse, My Doorbell...no, this really is brilliant! I'm completely taken by surprise again. Get Behind Me Satan has a patchwork quality to it, like when you're standing at the bar and you can hear the jukebox...but also the band in the next room and the conversation beside you. Sometimes it sounds like a mish-mash of noise, but other times it all blends together perfectly. That's how I've described the Flaming Lips, and that's how I'd descrie Get Behind Me Satan.

Yeah, it really is cool!

Gee, 4!

So the CEO of G4 vacated his post, "passing the baton" to a marketing guy. This was just a few weeks ago. And it makes sense; the G4 network is struggling and they definitely have to try something/anything to get a rating. There was an old issue of Television Week floating around the office (August 22), which reports that G4 is "shifting its focus" from game-centric programming to lifestyle stuff -- all in an attempt to grab some of the guys tuning in to Adult Swim. Which might explain the somewhat baffling inclusion of a Happy Tree Friends-anchored animated anthology show.

But dare I say it? Smart. Too little too late? Maybe. They should have implemented this kind of programming strategy after they gobbled up TechTV. G4 has been losing viewership (if you can call it that) left and right, and now nobody's watching -- not the shows, not this "shift" in their approach. When you're only in 50+ million homes, you can't screw around.

Anyway, it's an interesting thing to watch. Personally, I'd like to see a games/gadgets/girls channel succeed. But as much as I adore Happy Tree Friends, I don't know if a decapitated bunny is the answer G4 is looking for.

Like Queen...But Good

Check out One Way Ticket, the new single from the Darkness, (exclusively!) on MySpace (?!?). I wish it was more balls-out, but it rocks pretty hard and indicates that the new album will be more of the same big guitar goodness we've come to expect from those crazy Brits.

Zaxxon Roxxorz

A nice take on GameTap can be found here. Can someone tell me what an "O'Reilly Developer Weblog" is?

We Are GO for Launch

The official GameTap website is now up and running with launch content. Check it out and sign up today!

Riggity-Rock

Sweet. The Darkness are coming out with a new album at the end of November. Rawk.

Smiling in Defeat

Even though we didn't win at the Emmys, we had a pretty good time. Check out the pics I took here.