2012: A Crap Odyssey

Roland Emmerich: "Und zen ze aircraft carrier rolls right over ze White Haus!!" And the executives respond: "Oh, man, this is going to be the awesomest movie of all time ever!!" And everyone ejaculates in unison.

Meanwhile, the rest of us wonder when bigger became better and good storytelling got thrown out the window.

Look, I have no problem with big budget disaster movies. I love them. But there is no doubt in my mind that the movie 2012 is going to be terrible. Watch the trailer and see for yourself. How can those poor human actors compete with the bloated and hackneyed ideas on display? I have never seen a trailer try so goddamn hard in my entire life.

Pictured: "Look up, John Cusack! The tidal wave of crap is coming!"

I Like It

TV Everywhere is on the move. I like it; it makes sense. Let's see if it works. (But isn't everything on the Internet free?) Nice that Bewkes has the guts to take this stand. Of course, it certainly helps when you have the largest content catalog on the globe.

Awesome Shirts

I'm blogging about Glennz Tees because they are awesome. You should buy some.

Linguistic Pet Peeves

Grammar patrol top three:

- "on accident"
- "anyways"
- saying "unsatisfied" when you mean "dissatisfied"

Grrr.

Hot Sauce Committee

It's nice to know that the Beasties are putting out a new rap album called Hot Sauce Committee, and it's also nice to know that they still kinda kick ass. You know, for old dudes:



Word.

I Wanna See Juliet's V

OMG, you got Lost in my 80s sci-fi mini-series! Juliet (and Scott Wolf, back from the dead) show up in a remake of V, yet another not-new idea from the Hollywood development executives who grew up in the 80s. This could be sweet. Looking forward to the Alf crossover on Melmac.

Screw You, Weather

Grrr.

Stone Gods

Because I am a grown-up that doesn't know what is going on anymore, I didn't realize that the Darkness had morphed into a new band called Stone Gods in the wake of their lead singer's departure. That dude was awesome, but man he must've had some real drug issues to screw up that gig. Stone Gods are not released in the US, and they sound a little too generic for my taste, but nice to know that those guys continue to rock. I saw the Darkness perform back in 2004 or whatever and it was one of the most dynamite rock shows that I've seen.