Mission Statement
From JillyBoel
A MATTER OF CRUST
The Jilly Boel Mission by Matthew Schwartz
“No single performer has done more to encourage musicians without a shred of rock credibility to think that pretending to rock out is the same thing as rocking out than Billy Joel.”
From The Worst Rock ‘n’ Roll Records of All Time by Jimmy Guterman and Owen O’Donnell
“Billy Joel can kiss my asstikosch.”
Kristopher Monte John
Contents |
OVERVIEW
The mission of http://www.jillyboel.com is to provide an open forum for the site’s Founding Members (see below) to discuss, debate, and otherwise entertain each other with pop culture tidbits, personal information, and interesting anecdotes. It is NOT merely a place to poke fun at one William Joel – the singer-songwriter responsible for such tripe as “Scenes From an Italian Restaurant” and “Running on Ice” – although poking fun may be a strong component of the site’s activities. The main purpose of www.jillyboel.com is to allow for continuous communication and ticklish amusements for its frequent visitors and even occasional passers-by.
FOUNDING MEMBERS
(in alphabetical order)
- Avi Bromberg
- Rabbi Nuclear
- Julie Carr
- Robert DeBellis
- David Green
- Mark Gustavson
- Gary Harmon
- K. John
- David Mark Nagler
- Ted Neiger
- Matthew Aaron Schwartz
WHY JILLY BOEL?
While we are all men and women of different backgrounds and upbringings – possessing a wide range of beliefs, adhering to a variety of religious tenets, and occupying ourselves with an assortment of worthy and sometimes bizarre leisure activities – there is one thing we can all agree upon: Billy Joel is a stinker. It is in this spirit that jillyboel.com was created, for it is here that we will be able to celebrate our differences while at the same time be forever mindful that there exists a common ground upon which we all tread.
Much like life, Billy Joel presents a bit of a quandary. Some of his musical offerings, such as “Pressure” (a boyhood delight of mine) and “All For Leyna” (a professed David Nagler fave) are not bad songs per se, but at the same time, are certainly not good. While it is not my intention to debate the issue on these pages (we’ll leave that to the website), it is important to make note of it because it is this very contradiction that symbolizes the complexity of the pop culture galaxy, the very galaxy which ultimately represents the spark that brought jillyboel.com to life.
As children of music, movies, and television, we can all appreciate and savor the contributions of pop culture. Pop culture references permeate our conversations, they pepper our thoughts, they contaminate our very lives. And we love it! From cock rock bands to Japanese animation, from Bruce Springsteen to Bruce Dickinson, from UB40 to 40s, from Bugs Bunny to Daredevil: The Man Without Fear, we revel in our affection for all things on the pop landscape. Billy Joel simply embodies one station on the radio dial, so to speak. Our site, jillyboel.com, will be a place to listen to them all.
DIASPORA
Another factor contributing to the creation of this website that cannot be overlooked is the fact that the website will enable us – its Founding Members – to stay in touch with one another. As life goes on, growing more and more complicated with every step, we may discover that it becomes increasingly difficult to get all of us together in one place at the same time. Further complicating matters, some of us have had the audacity – the downright nerve! – to move outside the tri-state area.
Using the magic modern technology has to offer, jillyboel.com will be our place to gather on a regular basis – our watering hole, if you will – to catch up, shoot the shit, make fun of Gary, whatever. While a major attraction at jillyboel.com will certainly be the forums about TV shows or comic books (Emi’s “Superpowers” thread is already lighting up the switchboard), the website will also afford us the opportunity to share recent news or developments in our personal lives.
PERSONAL PAGES
All Founding Members will be entitled to a Personal Page or Pages on the site. Personal Pages will be accessed from jillyboel.com’s Home Page. Each Founding Member will have full editing privileges over his or her own space. While it is true that “anything goes” on jillyboel.com, we respectfully request that close-up shots of Bob’s ass be kept to a minimum. The jillyboel Personal Pages will allow all founding members to express himself (or herself) in his (or her) own unique way. As much or as little effort as desired can go into these pages. Just make sure it’s funny.
The jillyboel.com Title Page (the page that currently exists) will link to a Home Page where we will house the Personal Page links as well as the links to the message boards, chat areas, etc. Personal Page links will be created from the outset, even if there is nothing to post, in order to ensure that we establish proper navigation from the start.
PUBLIC AREAS OF THE SITE
Anything that is not a jillyboel.com Personal Page is considered a public area of the site. This consists of the Title Page, Home Page, message boards, chat areas, and any future additions. Our Site Administrator, the very generous (and handsome!) Kristopher Monte John, will be responsible for maintaining the public areas of the site. Of course, anyone who is technically capable is invited and encouraged to provide additional support.
As jillyboel.com expands, it will be up to all us to make suggestions and implement them wherever possible. This includes design, general navigation, and any new features that we might like to add (such as the jillyboel.com “asscam”). See below.
SITE ADMINISTRATION
The jillyboel.com message boards already contain a forum subject entitled “Site Administration.” This seems like the natural place to make suggestions about the site. All Founding Members will have editing privileges over the public areas of the site, but any changes must first be posted on the message boards and be approved by the Site Administrator. Any major changes must be approved by at least six (6) of the Founding Members as well as the Site Administrator. Something that is defined as a “major change” will be determined on a case-by-case basis on the message boards. Common sense will be utilized. For example, adding a “virtual bong” to the site would be considered a “major change.” Posting a small photo of Jilly Boel on the Home Page, on the other hand, would not.
While it may seem unnecessary to have this sort of approval system among friends, I believe it is important because it will make everyone feel like they are a part of the public areas of jillyboel. Posting potential changes on the message boards for all to see will prevent any surprises or hurt feelings. It will also create a semblance of order so that updates are not made willy-nilly. If anyone has reason to protest changes made to the public areas of the site, they may do so on the message boards. As jillyboel.com expands, it will be necessary to put a password prompt on the Site Administration pages so that only the Founding Members have access.
FEES
Fees will be determined by the Site Administrator and will be due annually unless otherwise noted.
BRANCHING OUT
In the best of worlds, jillyboel.com will be a regular destination for all of us, as well as those within the Jilly Boel universe. That means that we will be inviting others to check out our site and register as jillyboel.com users. In the spirit of all things Jilly, it is our responsibility as Founding Members to welcome like-mined people into the fold.
Relatives, friends, co-workers, and even the occasional drunk will be invited to visit jillyboel.com when it is truly up-and-running. The Personal Pages will unquestionably make our site uniquely enjoyable, ultimately helping to develop jillyboel.com into “the most irreverent and entertaining stopover on the information superhighway!” (Men’s Journal)
It will be up to the sole discretion of jillyboel.com’s Founding Members to decide who is entitled to visit and register at our site. Much like a secret society, the name Jilly Boel will only be spoken in whispers around the unitiated. And if an absolute stranger actually stumbles upon our site and is overcome with the impulse to register, then more power to him. He will be greeted by the Jilly Boel family with open arms.
Unless he’s an asshole; then he’s toast.
PUBLICITY
The name Jilly Boel and jillyboel.com will not be publicized. However, all Founding Members are encouraged to create business cards and hand them out at parties.
THE FUTURE
The future, as they say, is up to us. Let this document serve as a rallying cry for all the sons and daughters of Jilly Boel. As the man himself said on his debut album: tomorrow is today, folks. So let’s get started and make a funny website for our children (and our children’s children) to enjoy for years to come.
